“Then how could I leave her?”

     -Rory Williams to the Doctor (The Big Bang, S05E13)

THIS EPISODE. WAS PERFECT. I CRIED SO HARD.

(Source: daughterofcoul)

So for some reason, superhero movies make me very emotional, so much that I’ve cried watching:

• Iron Man (when Yinsen dies)
• Watchmen (when Rorschach dies)
• Iron Man 2 (when Howard says Tony is his greatest creation)
• Kick-Ass (when Dave fires the gatling gun)
• X-Men: First Class (when Darwin dies)
• Captain America (when Steve throws himself over the grenade) (and when Bucky dies) (and when the plane crashes) (I probably would’ve cried too if I stayed to watch the Avengers trailer)

I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve spent more tears on superhero movies than genuinely sad movies.

So today, instead of watching Captain America, I just re-watched X-Men: First Class. The good news is, I got to watch X-Men: First Class twice. The bad news is, I got to watch Darwin die twice.

Then I cried, because DARWIN, DON’T DIE!!!

(Source: lord-of-the-dreadfort)

1. I would give everything just to hold your hand one last time, sweaty and pants stained by the grass and the ground, slumped against sacks of dirt, tired and blindfolded, possibly looking like the most idiotic pair.
2. Hypothetically, I would never ever let go.
3. Hypothetically, things would turn out extremely different than they did.
4. Hypothetically, something has to happen to someone, somehow.
5. Hypothetically, I would give everything just to hold your hand one last time, whatever that last time was, whenever it was.
6. We go back to step 1.
7. No matter how many hypothetical moments with you I will make up in my mind, there will always be that final hypothetical moment, that final hypothetical moment that I will want to relive.
8. Like the time I met you.
9. Or the time you held my hand.
10. Or the time we talked about how you weren’t not allowed to wear sleeveless tops to Chem lab.
11. Or the last time I ever talked to you.
12. The thing is, no matter how many hypothetical moments I create, there is already a definite final moment. So the only thing I can do, now, is just expand the space between that definite initial moment, and that definite final moment, and find more and more moments I have had with you, or even the ones I didn’t have, no matter how previously insignificant.
13. Those are all I have left of you.
14. Hypothetically, I would never ever let go.

In my head I’ve relived that moment, where we were blindfolded and tired and needed sleep—you held my hand so lightly I almost couldn’t tell it was there.

In my head I’ve relived that moment, where I could have called you that evening and told you I had a gut feeling—which I hadn’t, but wish I did—that something bad was about to happen—which I hadn’t known, but wish I did—and to run, run away, run fast and away, away from everything.