I do; because while everyone’s thinking about how closely they can relate to this song, I’m thinking about how I can relate at all nothing to this song.
Because it’s written by Bruno Mars.
Because it’s written by a guy who can afford to be lazy. He can afford to lie down in his bed all day and write a (lazily written) song about how lazy he is. And you know, I’m okay with the lazily written song, if it weren’t for the fact that his other (non-lazy) songs are just as well.
He can earn millions of dollars from that. If I lay down the whole day the only thing I would earn is weight, and, well, dust, and a lecture from my mother.
So I can hardly relate to it. Because even though I did do all those things he stated in songs, there is still this fine print included in the song: but step up your game tomorrow because sleeping in all day only works for Bruno Mars.
(Also I might have this thing against lazy people, even though I am one myself.)
For a person who used to travel a lot (I’ve technically been to 9 countries, which is more countries than a lot of people I know have been to, so there), I really hate not being home. If I can help it, I’d rather sleep at my own house than anywhere else (not even the best hotel, ever… or maybe not; I’ll think about it). I just don’t like it when things are out of the ordinary. I hate going on city tours, I hate looking at pretty places, I hate having to talk to people there (out of fear of being made a fool, maybe), I even hate the hotels and how silent they seem at night.
It’s frightening.
Man, am I glad my parents never threw me a kiddie party with magicians and balloon animals. I hate kiddie parties.
I get that Valentine’s is this shitty “holiday” that greeting card makers, flower shops, chocolate shops, etc. etc. take advantage of. And not that I don’t agree, but it’s pretty hard—nearly impossible, actually—to bitch and moan about Valentine’s being this whole consumerist piece of shit without sounding like a bitter, dateless nagger.
Because, come on, year upon year, there is at least one person out of ten who makes this “Valentine’s Day is just a sham!” statement. Unless you can add a bit of new perspective to it, maybe keep your face shut and go look for a date—Heaven knows you need one—and enjoy the day. Because, hey, you might as well might.
- you talk about an “awkward moment” that isn’t even awkward.
- you realize that “that awkward moment”s aren’t funny.
